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Life Lessons: Harry's Little Card Shop

Roman Armstrong writes about Harry's Little Card Shop

Life Lessons: Harry's Little Card Shop

Roman Armstrong

W!ZARD News Author

Harry owned a little card shop down the city’s most popular high street.

He had cards for all sorts of occasions: birthdays, get well soons, well done on your exams, commiserations for your exams, happy birthday in hospital and it’s a shame that you didn’t actually have time to do your exams… all sorts. Anyway, he wasn’t getting any customers, despite the fact that hundreds of thousands of people walked past his diddy shop every day.

Also, he was lonely because he didn’t have a girlfriend. He wasn’t desperate, no, he just really wanted a girlfriend badly because he was so alone: not desperate.

One day, he was bored of having no customers that he decided to take an unexpected but understandable break. He didn’t have to worry about any of the staff telling the manager about his departure because he was the only member of staff. Nor did he have to worry about the manager having a go at him because he was the manager. So, he shut up the shop and took a stroll around the town, admiring the architecture and breathing in the fresh air, letting his mind relax.

Harry had never been calmer. He thought that he’d treat himself and buy a nice sandwich and croissant from one of the local bakeries, but because business was… whats the opposite of booming… well… that… he couldn’t afford much so he settled just buying the packaging of the sandwich to get the essence of having lunch. He found a nice bench next to the river, a lovely spot to sit and have some lunch… but before he could perch his little bottom on the bench, something caught his eye.

It was another card shop, ran buy some little woman, and everybody was buying cards from her. What did she have that he didn’t meaning that everyone was purchasing from her shop?

He peered at some signs on her windows which read “Want to give something special to someone special? Come and get your valentine’s cards here… you know you want too…”. This was a fantastic marketing campaign that hadn’t even crossed Harry’s mind. However, did he have time to steal all of this woman’s customers?

He ran up to a nearby bystander and asked “Excuse me, Miss, but what date is Valentines Day this year?” “Umm, February 14th” “Thank you!” This was great news; he still had enough time! If he had a special Valentines Day sale, he would not only get customers but maybe some attractive single pringles may come in and he might meet his soul mate.

He instantly ran back to the shop and started manufacturing card after card after card. He even cut his fingers in the process, dripping blood on the love hearts (arguably making them look more realistic).

Eventually, after months of painstaking labour, the cards were finished and ready to put on sale. But nobody was buying them. Was it the fact that the cards were hand made? Was it the fact that he forgot to water the roses that were on sale so they all wilted? Was it the wording of his sign outside the front of the shop which said “Roses are red, violets are blue, come and buy your Valentines Day cards, 3 for the price of two… incase you have more than one special someone in your life but they don't know…”.

He poked his head out of the store and asked a passer by if she wanted to buy a Valentines card. “What? It’s June, you creep…” she said as she stormed off. Harry had made a huge mistake.

He went back in his shop, took the sign saying ‘closed’ and wrote the words ‘for good’ underneath it and placed it on the door. He went back to the bench where he almost sat many moons ago to waddle in his own tears.

It was there that the woman from the rival shop (which was very busy) came out to see if he was okay. He explained his predicament and the two of them fell instantly in love with each other. The end.

Life Lessons is taken from Roman Armstrong's weekly radio show, click here to listen on demand.

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